Friday, September 30, 2005

3am conversations tend to be one-sided

so sleep has now become the ultimate snodwrangle of this process. [yes, i like to make up words. snodwrangle - it's sweeping the nation]
i can take tremors and slowing down. even the freaky freezing doesn't really get me down, but wow. the sleeping really is starting to suck.
last night, i was still awake at 2:45am. i missed my window as the meds wore off around 10:45, and i really didn't feel like taking another pill just so i could calm down to go to sleep. what a mistake.
i was writhing pretty good by 11:15, and i couldn't even keep my fingers steady enough to use work the remote control kill the boredom as i waited for sleep. so apparently i did fall asleep at some point during the morning, because i woke up just in time to work through my 30-minute process of getting out of bed.
first, the pill goes down with a swish of warm water, or, like this morning, dry.
then, i wait for the glorious rush of "ahhhhh" to come - a solid 20 minutes later.
only then do i get to tug my withering butt out toward the edge of the bed so i can wobble onto two shaky legs.

when all goes well, i'm human by 6:45am.
when it doesn't, i'm cooked till 10.

and then it all starts again.

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